MEN OVER 50, PUT YOUR SHIRTS BACK ON!!!

Put Your Shirts on Please!
By L.J. Kluchin

Getting divorced and turning middle aged seems to be an epidemic and for me it has been a true learning experience, changing every aspect of my life. I've had to reshape and rethink everything that I previously held as valuable knowledge and readjust what I assumed was wisdom that my lengthy years on the planet have taught me. What I have discovered recently, is that in this wonderful new millennium, filled with indispensable technology I can't seem to live without, that romance has become an Internet nightmare! What on earth would my all time heroine, Elizabeth Bennett think of Internet Dating? I shudder to even imagine! Internet dating is an experience that defies logic, throws you into a world of cyberspace singles, and puts you in contact with the largest group of men, who for no apparent or explainable reason, pose without their shirts in their profile pictures. No, this is not some sci-fi horror movie called attack of the back hair, but an amazing cyberspace dating phenomena: MEN WITHOUT SHIRTS! And we are NOT talking Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackman hunks. I am strictly addressing those over 50 creatures who think that posting half naked photographs of their sagging hairy bodies is the stuff of which dreams are made! EWWW!

Being in the over 50 crowd of recently divorced, intelligent, accomplished and attractive women out there, I am at a loss for words trying to explain or understand why 90% of men over 50 on dating sights feel the need to take a profile picture exposing their upper half devoid of clothing. Now the really interesting concept here is that women in the same age bracket do not in large numbers go around taking bikini shots of themselves or exposing more than necessary to gain a man's interest. ( Even those of us with buns of steel or those of us who have paid to have buns of steel). We'd rather wow you with metaphors and accolades of our values and life experiences.... Perhaps share our favorite books with you, talk about the type of music and environment that we find romantic .... But for some unfathomable reason, countless men think women want to see a middle aged man unclothed and even stranger is that they then expect that all women will be sufficiently enticed or desperate enough to respond back to a half nude man.

First clue guys, is that if you are in that age bracket, WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU WITHOUT YOUR SHIRT. PUT IT BACK ON! If we like your profile and think you sound intelligent, kind, sensitive and have similar interests, we will most likely respond to you. If your photos shows someone of reasonable attractiveness then we might want to chat with you or perhaps meet you after some appropriate correspondence. But NO ONE wants to see this pathetic display of ego and bad taste. If you are proud of your physique because you are an active person then a T shirt will show off your muscles and is so much more tasteful. The operative word HERE is CLASS fellas! Come on guys, face facts, most men, like women in their 50's, may look pretty good for their age, but HELLO!!!!! We're still aging and up close photos of sagging skin or extra love handles, and hair growing in places it doesn't belong, does NOT make for a good first impression. I get shocked each time I click on a name that has emailed me a pleasant hello only to find a man in some form of undress. You can bet I will never respond to Mr. Nudity! Is he kidding??

HINT: Buddy, your smile will look just as nice with a shirt on. Someone needs to let you know that you look like a real jerk! A potential pervert, and quite honestly, pathetic. I will happily be that someone to enlighten you. Ironically, the classy, well muscled men all have shirts on in their pictures. THEY know a thing or two about how to flaunt their physical prowess without overdoing it. They also apparently know that TOO much too soon is a turn off. And I really don't want to click on a profile picture and find out you have back or shoulder hair before I even read your interests. PULEASE! Most women are willing to overlook imperfections to get to that nice guy underneath, but we need to get to know a person first. To see your handsome smile, to read about what makes you tick. Yes, that is what turns a woman on.. Heck, you might be the nicest guy in the world, but all that gray chest hair shouts bad taste, egotistical, into yourself big time, shallow ,and mostly, IS HE SERIOUS??? What was he thinking! EWWW!

Women are not typically as physically picky as men. We like a man's intellect. We like a gentleman We like respect and kindness and good sense of humor. Most women don't care if a guy has hair or not or has a bit of excess weight. But we do resent in your face bad taste!!!!!!!!! .
So come on fellas....help us all out and PUT YOUR SHIRTS BACK ON...PLEASE!!!!!!!