Give me a dead guy any time...Why Women Prefer Vampires.
By L. J. Kluchin
Have you ever noticed that everywhere you look lately there are hunky, sexy Vampires coming out of the woodwork?? Take a glance and you'll find books, posters, and DVD's of the tormented, but captivating Edward Cullen. Now this is a sexy vamp who constantly appears to be suffering with his plight in a state of lovesick misery, because he isn't sure whether to seduce his girlfriend, Bella, or just give in to temptation and eat her. Then of course there is Vampire Bill from True Blood who sashays and saunters over to Miss Sookie's house and is all southern charm, flaunting his old world sexiness in a gentleman "come a calling" kind of way. And Eric, who is the giant sized Viking Vampire hunk who highlights his hair when he isn't charming the socks off of women or giving them autographs at his Vampire bar, Fangtasia. And don't forget the complex hottie, Rock Star Lestat, punk rocker Spike in Buffy the Vampire Slayer , or seductive Angel who actually wound up with his own vampire hit TV show and was a successful demon hunting detective. Oh yes, and one season of the attractive and modern Mick St. John from Moonlight, who really would have continued to keep women on the edge of their seats in heavy lust had they not cancelled the show so soon. (Thank goodness for DVD's.) And lets not forget that muscular man called Blade who is only half vampire but half a vamp on him makes for one whole sexy studmuffin, partially human or not! The list of sexy male blood sucking dead guys is endless. They are in books, movies, videos, TV shows, you name it. Vampires are everywhere. Yep,Vamps have come out of the closet and we Women want them. Each one of these fanged fellas is cuter than the next, more mysterious and talented than the his predecessor, and oh so drop dead gorgeous in an erotic pale sort of dangerous way. What can I tell you? Women find Vampire men irresistible. Hey, after two failed marriages with guys who were ALIVE, I am totally starting to get on the bandwagon and become a vampire fan too. I get it! Its easy to understand why girls like these cold silent dead guy types. ..heck after being introduced to a host of nutcases in the real world dating scene, I have come to grips with why women prefer men without a pulse. First off, they are are drop dead gorgeous - (pardon the expression-) next, they never age, so they always look good, (I'd say HOT but that doesn't apply here..) and most of them have impeccable taste and dress like a GQ model. Since they also seem to possess the strength of a superhero they can save you in a moments notice, open your car door for all eternity (Don't you just love that?) Because they have been around for centuries they treat you like a real lady, which is always a plus. And they can zoom with ease and come to your aid in a flash should you need them because they move at the speed of light. But, best of all, they can't cheat on you during the daylight hours because they are either sleeping or staying indoors until sundown. You know,there are really a lot of advantages to dating a vampire. The more I think about It, vampires just might be the way to go! Oh sure they get a little crazy when they've been without blood for a while, but most men are rather unpredictable so there's not so much of a difference in behavior, and of course if you accidentally cut yourself you better run for cover because you just might be dinner, but other than those little mishaps, the positives seem to far out way the negatives. If you look at this rationally, then falling in love with a vampire might just be the wave of the future. They are handsome, mysterious, sexy, and polite. Most are rich because they've had years to accumulate a fortune, and I've been told they like to drive fancy cars so that should be exciting. All in all, Vampires get my vote. Girls, lets be practical about this. ALL men are flawed. So what's the big deal? The live ones can drink, cheat, gamble, smoke, be stupid, and never want to commit, you know what I mean girls....so why not grab a touch of the exotic. Find yourself a vampire and fall in love with your very own drop dead hunk. So what if they aren't necessarily for real. Whose going to know? Aren't Fantasies the stuff dreams are made of? Even Shakespeare wrote, "Oh What fools these mortals be" So get on the bandwagon girls, and Go get a sexy vamp to date. You'll think you've died and gone to heaven....oh, scratch that thought.......but you know what I mean!!!:) Aren't you just dying to find out what a vamp is like????LOL. See ya at midnight.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Fatherless on Father's Day
I have been on the earth since April of 1949 and during all those decades I have been blessed with having a Dad. Not just your run of the mill Dad, but to me, a real superhero of a father. A parent who was handsome, dashing, and sometimes stern while I was growing up. But he was also a father whose heart melted when I gave him a hug or a smile. The man would have done anything in the world for me or for my children. He was my hero. For his entire life, he took care of his family, loving and nurturing us, and always being there whenever we needed him. I admired him as far back as I can remember. My mother kept scrapbooks/journals of her family until she passed away and in those precious tattered books are years of Father's Day cards that I either made by hand or bought to give my Dad. Charming, tender, sometimes funny cards with me as a child apologizing for being so difficult and promising to be better behaved next year, or me explaining my way out of trouble as a teen, or in later years thanking him for being there and helping me out of a jam in one way or another. 59 years of cards from his daughter. And today sadly, is the first Father's Day without my Dad. Its more difficult than I ever imagined. I do have many wonderful memories that tug at my heart and sustain me. His loving smile, him skipping down the street with me hand in hand and carrying my little sister in one arm while I held tightly to the other, driving me to band practice, or modeling gigs, coming to my place when I was out of college and single with a bucket in hand to save me from a terrifying frog in my bathroom. There was always Daddy. He was always there for his little girl, even when that little girl grew into a woman. He was strong and fearless! He was my salvation during a difficult divorce and gave me strength to continue and persevere. He was so proud when I gave him his first grandchild and his last. I will never forget him holding up my son, Seth, to the neighbors like the mighty King in Disney's movie, "The Lion King" proudly stating, "Look, Here he is, my grandson". I have never seen such joy in his eyes as I did that day when he held up the child that would carry on his legacy for future generations. I imagine my mother saw that look of pride each time he first held one of his own children; my brother, my sister or myself. He was a loving, kind, good man.And he desperately loved his children, his grandchildren, and my mother was the love of his life. Sadly, today he isn't here for us anymore. Today is the first Father's Day without the man who was my hero .I never thought before what that might be like. I took for granted the blessing I had in him and his excellence as a role model for myself and for my children. He was 89 and until he fell accidentally I thought he would surely make 100! And while I am still celebrating the day with my sister and my older son, it is a bitter sweet day. The need to be part of a family is now more important to me than ever since I am alone. My youngest son will be absent because he will off to see his own father. An ex husband who destroyed a 22 year marriage with lies and deceit and left me penniless. Yet, it is where my son should be. He is, after all, with his father on this special day and I encourage that bond no matter what the circumstances. It is the right thing to do.
During my father's life, my son made his grandfather the priority on Father's Day. Today, however, he needs to share it with his own father. My oldest now has a recent wife and G-d willing will eventually create a new generation of children of whom he will father. And then this day will represent new beginnings for me and not sorrow. But today, my Daddy will be severely missed. Today, I am a 60 year old woman who wishes upon a star that for one moment I could be that little girl again and climb up into my father's lap and give him a hug and just hear his voice again. I wish I could feel his big warm arms around me and have the security that I would always be safe, and feel loved because Daddy would make sure of it. Today I miss the past and the man who was to me the dearest father in the world. Happy Father's Day Daddy. I love you. xoxo Lesley
During my father's life, my son made his grandfather the priority on Father's Day. Today, however, he needs to share it with his own father. My oldest now has a recent wife and G-d willing will eventually create a new generation of children of whom he will father. And then this day will represent new beginnings for me and not sorrow. But today, my Daddy will be severely missed. Today, I am a 60 year old woman who wishes upon a star that for one moment I could be that little girl again and climb up into my father's lap and give him a hug and just hear his voice again. I wish I could feel his big warm arms around me and have the security that I would always be safe, and feel loved because Daddy would make sure of it. Today I miss the past and the man who was to me the dearest father in the world. Happy Father's Day Daddy. I love you. xoxo Lesley
Thursday, June 18, 2009
LIFE ISN'T FAIR!
Did you ever wonder why some people have their share of rotten luck while others glide through life unscathed? While I have a million theories from bad Karma to past lives or cosmic retribution, I can't really explain or understand why bad things happen to good people. Its unfair and it never seems to balance out in the end! How often do you know good, hard working, kind, people, who often get stuck with illness, poverty, divorce, loss, and get left in the dust while ruthless sorts who blatantly lie, cheat, steal and hurt others seem to push ahead and come out smelling like a rose. Or at least they live their lives without consequences. This occurrence leaves me more curious than ever questioning why the universe can be so unfair and target some individuals and not others and what is the real meaning of existence? My mother always looked at me matter of factly and said with a smile, "Who ever said life would be fair?"
Okay, I suppose she was right. But why is it that way? Do I believe in G-d? Most certainly, and yes I believe in the Golden rule and always followed the lessons of the ten commandments as I was raised to do from my early training in Temple. But, still life seems to put massive obstacles in my way and it is tiring to say the least! Over the years I have learned to dodge the oncoming hail storms of problems with perseverance and laughter. And that, perhaps, is all one can do when given surmounting challenges and bad luck. Now don't get me wrong, I know and count my blessings for the good things in life too. I am well aware of the positives: My children, my friends, my career. But, I do get a little tired of having those painful ex husband issues, financial woes, and then of course there is the monthly struggle to keep my home in this failing economy. I know I am basically lucky in the health department when I question why a dear friend of mine keeps getting slammed with cancer over and over again. Yes, she has survived each time, but the agony she lives through breaks my heart. And I question, why her? She is a good, caring person. Why must she be the one to suffer?
Some people may say it is the will of G-d. It is karma, or it is her fate. That is not my reasoning. While I believe in the force of a superior entity, I also believe in the power of the human condition and the strength of the individual. I have always felt it is a cop out to just put your hands in the fate of others and say whatever happens, happens......Nope, I don't think you can do that. I think you have to keep going, do your best to survive, cry a little, laugh a little and keep strong to fight and make life a good thing. You can never give up! Not ever. What was it that that wild man exercise guy Tony Little always said on TV? Oh, yes, " YOU CAN DO IT!" Or the words of our president..."YES WE CAN! " I think I believe in that. Positive thinking, personal best, personal goals.Believing in ourselves and trying to the max. Life sucks sometimes. Its really hard, its ruthless, and it doesn't discriminate. We, mere mortals, just have to hang on and survive each day and smile every chance we get.We need to keep plugging along and let out a belly laugh when we can. Yep, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it! :)
Okay, I suppose she was right. But why is it that way? Do I believe in G-d? Most certainly, and yes I believe in the Golden rule and always followed the lessons of the ten commandments as I was raised to do from my early training in Temple. But, still life seems to put massive obstacles in my way and it is tiring to say the least! Over the years I have learned to dodge the oncoming hail storms of problems with perseverance and laughter. And that, perhaps, is all one can do when given surmounting challenges and bad luck. Now don't get me wrong, I know and count my blessings for the good things in life too. I am well aware of the positives: My children, my friends, my career. But, I do get a little tired of having those painful ex husband issues, financial woes, and then of course there is the monthly struggle to keep my home in this failing economy. I know I am basically lucky in the health department when I question why a dear friend of mine keeps getting slammed with cancer over and over again. Yes, she has survived each time, but the agony she lives through breaks my heart. And I question, why her? She is a good, caring person. Why must she be the one to suffer?
Some people may say it is the will of G-d. It is karma, or it is her fate. That is not my reasoning. While I believe in the force of a superior entity, I also believe in the power of the human condition and the strength of the individual. I have always felt it is a cop out to just put your hands in the fate of others and say whatever happens, happens......Nope, I don't think you can do that. I think you have to keep going, do your best to survive, cry a little, laugh a little and keep strong to fight and make life a good thing. You can never give up! Not ever. What was it that that wild man exercise guy Tony Little always said on TV? Oh, yes, " YOU CAN DO IT!" Or the words of our president..."YES WE CAN! " I think I believe in that. Positive thinking, personal best, personal goals.Believing in ourselves and trying to the max. Life sucks sometimes. Its really hard, its ruthless, and it doesn't discriminate. We, mere mortals, just have to hang on and survive each day and smile every chance we get.We need to keep plugging along and let out a belly laugh when we can. Yep, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it! :)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR JANE AUSTEN!
FINDING TIME FOR JANE AUSTEN
By L.J. Kluchin
It is without a doubt an unequivocal fact, that ladies of a certain age are drawn to the writings of Jane Austen. Be it her witty, bold, and dynamic characters; her sharp characterization of Edwardian society, or her ability to allow intellect as well as grace to permeate the female of the species in literature, Jane Austen has become a Haven, a place for women of a "delicate" age to at last come home.
As we ladies approach a time in our lives where society casts us out, and dwells on unpretentious youth...Jane renews our possibilities, allows us to imagine, hope, and to dream. With each vivid character she takes us back to a more amiable period in history, a time filled with light hearted parties, dancing, gentlemen and happy endings. And let us not forget that without Jane, there would not exist the delicious and delectable Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. And for that accomplishment alone, Jane Austen should be immortalized as a literary hero and genius.
I will never forget being told to read Pride and Prejudice on the advisement of my older brother who stated matter of factly that I would simply love it. I was informed that the characters included silly frivolous teenage girls such as myself, but also in the midst of that,a deep thinker whom I could also relate. There was wisdom and wit in his comments which I failed to notice at the tender age of sixteen. He had found the book delightful and wanted immediately to share his passion for Austen with me. Unfortunately, due to my lack of maturity, I was not yet ready to partake in that joy. I knew that at some point in the near future I would be obligated to read the book in school, and the young and fickle girl that I was thought it ridiculous to initiate that fate before requirements forced my hand. Somehow, however, fate intervened, and sadly, the advanced English teachers chose for the senior class to read Paradise Lost instead of P & P. Thus, I found myself emerged in John Milton's brilliant depiction of Heaven and Hell rather then submersing myself in the likes of Jane Austen. To this day that is an educational decision I deeply regret. While I thoroughly enjoyed Milton,not ever having the advantage of being educated on the life and works of Jane Austen is a remorseful situation that I cannot remedy.
It was not until a few years later that I had an opportunity to get my first Austen experience. On an airplane ride to California I finally had the privilege to acquaint myself with the Bennett family. I avidly read my brother's tattered copy of P & P and admit that I instantly connected with Elizabeth Bennett. I was barely a few pages along before I was laughing out loud and enjoying myself. I read the majority of the novel on the long flight across country and to this day am still amazed at how astute and insightful my brother had been knowing that I would at once identify with the infamous Lizzy. I adored the era in which the story took place, and was quite amused by the rude, hypochondriac Mrs. Bennett, drawing many similarities to my own life and family experiences in the mother department! The dialogue was written in such an engaging manner that I felt as if I too were right in the room with the Bennetts. I knew then that I was reading something very special. Ms. Austen revealed to me a literary talent that few authors since her demise have been able to duplicate. My dearest Jane seems to have mastered her unique ability to achieve sheer perfection. In the character department I also adored Mr. Bennett, and since my own father was not nearly as witty or carefree as he ,I took great pleasure in reading his clever retorts to his children and his demanding wife. Due to the fact that my father's nature was always serious and practical, I often wondered if it was his influence that pushed my brother to study law or was it because of his authoritative role in my life that I pursued teaching rather than running off and performing on the Broadway stage. In any event,I understood that reading Jane had allowed my dear elder brother an opportunity to escape from his tedious and difficult, (if not somewhat boring) law classes to hide away in the wonderful society created by Ms. Austen and submerse himself in her bewitching characters whenever he needed a shot of wit and pleasure. She provided the same entertainment and escape for me.Unfortunately, It was shortly after reading P & P that I had to put Jane on hold. (I shudder now at the disservice this was to myself .) But, the world was a chaotic place back in my youth and I was too busy trying to make a difference in the society of the turbulent 1960's, so I totally left Jane and her "children" far behind. After all, there were protest meetings to attend, anti war rallies that needed banners and bra burnings that seemed much more relevant to me then Lizzy Bennett's simple problems and Jane's frivolous characters finding the perfect husbands. And of course,that annoying and prideful Mr. Darcy was just too much! What a foolish girl I was! Had I taken the time to really read and digest her novels, I would have seen so much more. I suppose I just wasn't ready to let Jane into my life during my younger days. Unfortunately, in one's youth we often miss the obvious in the whirlwind of its forcefulness and excitement. The beauty of youth of course, is that it simply overpowers you. It is fast, turbulent and dynamic. Because life is meant to be lived to the fullest when you are young. There is so much to do and never enough time to read...
And so for a while, rather than reading Jane Austen....I lived my life. And for that little indiscretion, I think Jane might actually have envied me. Over the years I took a detour and became a Shakespeare addict instead ... spouting poetry, acting, and then teaching students the art of writing, reading, and dramatic expression , all of which became my focus. Husbands, children, teaching and life itself took me away from Jane. And then one day, when my children started to grow up and I began to search for who I had become, I saw the 1995 version of P & P . At last, I was in love again!!!!!! This time I swore I would become hooked for life on Jane Austen. I started reading everything she wrote , anything I could get my hands on. Jane had more meaning to me suddenly. Her characters did too. Why hadn't I seen their depth in my youth? I kept reflecting on how Jane as a women, chose to stay single rather than compromise her feelings and to focus on her writing. How courageous a decision during her time in history. I am still knocked out by her utter strength of character. I envied her spirit, her focus and determination, her forthrightness, and most of all, her ability to stay true to herself. I knew after two marriages it wasn't something I had ever had the guts to do. And while Jane's offspring were her novels, mine still needed me to help get them through college and do their laundry. So , once again I put Jane on the shelf and continued on my adventure called life. And my life called out to me very loudly to get my head out of the clouds and focus my time on my little own darlings. Which meant leaving myself and Jane behind in the dust . Caring for my students, my husband, and my family filled my days. But, every now and then my heart skipped a beat and thought what a gift it would be to have the time to sit down and read a Jane Austen novel..if only I could find the time....
And then somehow miraculously life blesses us by continuing! And now as I approach a new decade in my life, along with the end of my marriage and my youngest child going off to college,I find myself for the first time in decades alone again.... questioning life and asking myself those universal questions; Who am I ? What is life about? How can I continue to enrich my life and the lives of others? Who can I turn to? Suddenly, an epiphany. Why Jane of course. She captured my heart with her stories, her amazing characters, her witty dialogue , and with her very soul. How could I have not seen all that she was before? Mr. Darcy's character, is so very sexy and vital. He is probably the most perfect man in all of literature! Oh and that handsome Mr. Knightly, how did he suddenly get so wise? How on earth did I not notice his depth and incite the first time I read Emma? And how Emma herself was not as vapid as she seems on the surface. Why didn't I understand the total fierceness and magnitude of Lizzy Bennett and why is that now I admire her so much more, often wishing I had been more like her myself and stood up to all the people in my life who said something that irritated me. I wish I could have told my mother-in-law off like Lizzy did when she put Lady Catherine De Burgh in her place. Chutzpah!!!!
And so, to nourish my mind, my heart and my soul, I have recently begun my very own Jane Austen book club, "for women of a certain age". And we meet monthly to read and discuss Jane's novels. (Her children.).....We talk of our children, our lives, Jane's life, her characters , and drink our coffee and tea and laugh. We laugh and we think! Isn't that after all what Jane wanted us to do? She wanted us to see life as it is, to look deep within ourselves and decide what is really important to us. Her words beg us to follow our dreams...and if our dreams have died or come crashing down around us, then we can follow the dreams of Elizabeth Bennett or Mary Anne Dashwood or even Emma. We can hope again, we can be young again,we can live again....and so can Jane! Thank you Ms. Austen for giving us that chance to recapture our lost youth and our strength within. You are my favorite literary heroine of all time!.
By L.J. Kluchin
It is without a doubt an unequivocal fact, that ladies of a certain age are drawn to the writings of Jane Austen. Be it her witty, bold, and dynamic characters; her sharp characterization of Edwardian society, or her ability to allow intellect as well as grace to permeate the female of the species in literature, Jane Austen has become a Haven, a place for women of a "delicate" age to at last come home.
As we ladies approach a time in our lives where society casts us out, and dwells on unpretentious youth...Jane renews our possibilities, allows us to imagine, hope, and to dream. With each vivid character she takes us back to a more amiable period in history, a time filled with light hearted parties, dancing, gentlemen and happy endings. And let us not forget that without Jane, there would not exist the delicious and delectable Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. And for that accomplishment alone, Jane Austen should be immortalized as a literary hero and genius.
I will never forget being told to read Pride and Prejudice on the advisement of my older brother who stated matter of factly that I would simply love it. I was informed that the characters included silly frivolous teenage girls such as myself, but also in the midst of that,a deep thinker whom I could also relate. There was wisdom and wit in his comments which I failed to notice at the tender age of sixteen. He had found the book delightful and wanted immediately to share his passion for Austen with me. Unfortunately, due to my lack of maturity, I was not yet ready to partake in that joy. I knew that at some point in the near future I would be obligated to read the book in school, and the young and fickle girl that I was thought it ridiculous to initiate that fate before requirements forced my hand. Somehow, however, fate intervened, and sadly, the advanced English teachers chose for the senior class to read Paradise Lost instead of P & P. Thus, I found myself emerged in John Milton's brilliant depiction of Heaven and Hell rather then submersing myself in the likes of Jane Austen. To this day that is an educational decision I deeply regret. While I thoroughly enjoyed Milton,not ever having the advantage of being educated on the life and works of Jane Austen is a remorseful situation that I cannot remedy.
It was not until a few years later that I had an opportunity to get my first Austen experience. On an airplane ride to California I finally had the privilege to acquaint myself with the Bennett family. I avidly read my brother's tattered copy of P & P and admit that I instantly connected with Elizabeth Bennett. I was barely a few pages along before I was laughing out loud and enjoying myself. I read the majority of the novel on the long flight across country and to this day am still amazed at how astute and insightful my brother had been knowing that I would at once identify with the infamous Lizzy. I adored the era in which the story took place, and was quite amused by the rude, hypochondriac Mrs. Bennett, drawing many similarities to my own life and family experiences in the mother department! The dialogue was written in such an engaging manner that I felt as if I too were right in the room with the Bennetts. I knew then that I was reading something very special. Ms. Austen revealed to me a literary talent that few authors since her demise have been able to duplicate. My dearest Jane seems to have mastered her unique ability to achieve sheer perfection. In the character department I also adored Mr. Bennett, and since my own father was not nearly as witty or carefree as he ,I took great pleasure in reading his clever retorts to his children and his demanding wife. Due to the fact that my father's nature was always serious and practical, I often wondered if it was his influence that pushed my brother to study law or was it because of his authoritative role in my life that I pursued teaching rather than running off and performing on the Broadway stage. In any event,I understood that reading Jane had allowed my dear elder brother an opportunity to escape from his tedious and difficult, (if not somewhat boring) law classes to hide away in the wonderful society created by Ms. Austen and submerse himself in her bewitching characters whenever he needed a shot of wit and pleasure. She provided the same entertainment and escape for me.Unfortunately, It was shortly after reading P & P that I had to put Jane on hold. (I shudder now at the disservice this was to myself .) But, the world was a chaotic place back in my youth and I was too busy trying to make a difference in the society of the turbulent 1960's, so I totally left Jane and her "children" far behind. After all, there were protest meetings to attend, anti war rallies that needed banners and bra burnings that seemed much more relevant to me then Lizzy Bennett's simple problems and Jane's frivolous characters finding the perfect husbands. And of course,that annoying and prideful Mr. Darcy was just too much! What a foolish girl I was! Had I taken the time to really read and digest her novels, I would have seen so much more. I suppose I just wasn't ready to let Jane into my life during my younger days. Unfortunately, in one's youth we often miss the obvious in the whirlwind of its forcefulness and excitement. The beauty of youth of course, is that it simply overpowers you. It is fast, turbulent and dynamic. Because life is meant to be lived to the fullest when you are young. There is so much to do and never enough time to read...
And so for a while, rather than reading Jane Austen....I lived my life. And for that little indiscretion, I think Jane might actually have envied me. Over the years I took a detour and became a Shakespeare addict instead ... spouting poetry, acting, and then teaching students the art of writing, reading, and dramatic expression , all of which became my focus. Husbands, children, teaching and life itself took me away from Jane. And then one day, when my children started to grow up and I began to search for who I had become, I saw the 1995 version of P & P . At last, I was in love again!!!!!! This time I swore I would become hooked for life on Jane Austen. I started reading everything she wrote , anything I could get my hands on. Jane had more meaning to me suddenly. Her characters did too. Why hadn't I seen their depth in my youth? I kept reflecting on how Jane as a women, chose to stay single rather than compromise her feelings and to focus on her writing. How courageous a decision during her time in history. I am still knocked out by her utter strength of character. I envied her spirit, her focus and determination, her forthrightness, and most of all, her ability to stay true to herself. I knew after two marriages it wasn't something I had ever had the guts to do. And while Jane's offspring were her novels, mine still needed me to help get them through college and do their laundry. So , once again I put Jane on the shelf and continued on my adventure called life. And my life called out to me very loudly to get my head out of the clouds and focus my time on my little own darlings. Which meant leaving myself and Jane behind in the dust . Caring for my students, my husband, and my family filled my days. But, every now and then my heart skipped a beat and thought what a gift it would be to have the time to sit down and read a Jane Austen novel..if only I could find the time....
And then somehow miraculously life blesses us by continuing! And now as I approach a new decade in my life, along with the end of my marriage and my youngest child going off to college,I find myself for the first time in decades alone again.... questioning life and asking myself those universal questions; Who am I ? What is life about? How can I continue to enrich my life and the lives of others? Who can I turn to? Suddenly, an epiphany. Why Jane of course. She captured my heart with her stories, her amazing characters, her witty dialogue , and with her very soul. How could I have not seen all that she was before? Mr. Darcy's character, is so very sexy and vital. He is probably the most perfect man in all of literature! Oh and that handsome Mr. Knightly, how did he suddenly get so wise? How on earth did I not notice his depth and incite the first time I read Emma? And how Emma herself was not as vapid as she seems on the surface. Why didn't I understand the total fierceness and magnitude of Lizzy Bennett and why is that now I admire her so much more, often wishing I had been more like her myself and stood up to all the people in my life who said something that irritated me. I wish I could have told my mother-in-law off like Lizzy did when she put Lady Catherine De Burgh in her place. Chutzpah!!!!
And so, to nourish my mind, my heart and my soul, I have recently begun my very own Jane Austen book club, "for women of a certain age". And we meet monthly to read and discuss Jane's novels. (Her children.).....We talk of our children, our lives, Jane's life, her characters , and drink our coffee and tea and laugh. We laugh and we think! Isn't that after all what Jane wanted us to do? She wanted us to see life as it is, to look deep within ourselves and decide what is really important to us. Her words beg us to follow our dreams...and if our dreams have died or come crashing down around us, then we can follow the dreams of Elizabeth Bennett or Mary Anne Dashwood or even Emma. We can hope again, we can be young again,we can live again....and so can Jane! Thank you Ms. Austen for giving us that chance to recapture our lost youth and our strength within. You are my favorite literary heroine of all time!.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
MEN OVER 50, PUT YOUR SHIRTS BACK ON!!!
Put Your Shirts on Please!
By L.J. Kluchin
Getting divorced and turning middle aged seems to be an epidemic and for me it has been a true learning experience, changing every aspect of my life. I've had to reshape and rethink everything that I previously held as valuable knowledge and readjust what I assumed was wisdom that my lengthy years on the planet have taught me. What I have discovered recently, is that in this wonderful new millennium, filled with indispensable technology I can't seem to live without, that romance has become an Internet nightmare! What on earth would my all time heroine, Elizabeth Bennett think of Internet Dating? I shudder to even imagine! Internet dating is an experience that defies logic, throws you into a world of cyberspace singles, and puts you in contact with the largest group of men, who for no apparent or explainable reason, pose without their shirts in their profile pictures. No, this is not some sci-fi horror movie called attack of the back hair, but an amazing cyberspace dating phenomena: MEN WITHOUT SHIRTS! And we are NOT talking Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackman hunks. I am strictly addressing those over 50 creatures who think that posting half naked photographs of their sagging hairy bodies is the stuff of which dreams are made! EWWW!
Being in the over 50 crowd of recently divorced, intelligent, accomplished and attractive women out there, I am at a loss for words trying to explain or understand why 90% of men over 50 on dating sights feel the need to take a profile picture exposing their upper half devoid of clothing. Now the really interesting concept here is that women in the same age bracket do not in large numbers go around taking bikini shots of themselves or exposing more than necessary to gain a man's interest. ( Even those of us with buns of steel or those of us who have paid to have buns of steel). We'd rather wow you with metaphors and accolades of our values and life experiences.... Perhaps share our favorite books with you, talk about the type of music and environment that we find romantic .... But for some unfathomable reason, countless men think women want to see a middle aged man unclothed and even stranger is that they then expect that all women will be sufficiently enticed or desperate enough to respond back to a half nude man.
First clue guys, is that if you are in that age bracket, WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU WITHOUT YOUR SHIRT. PUT IT BACK ON! If we like your profile and think you sound intelligent, kind, sensitive and have similar interests, we will most likely respond to you. If your photos shows someone of reasonable attractiveness then we might want to chat with you or perhaps meet you after some appropriate correspondence. But NO ONE wants to see this pathetic display of ego and bad taste. If you are proud of your physique because you are an active person then a T shirt will show off your muscles and is so much more tasteful. The operative word HERE is CLASS fellas! Come on guys, face facts, most men, like women in their 50's, may look pretty good for their age, but HELLO!!!!! We're still aging and up close photos of sagging skin or extra love handles, and hair growing in places it doesn't belong, does NOT make for a good first impression. I get shocked each time I click on a name that has emailed me a pleasant hello only to find a man in some form of undress. You can bet I will never respond to Mr. Nudity! Is he kidding??
HINT: Buddy, your smile will look just as nice with a shirt on. Someone needs to let you know that you look like a real jerk! A potential pervert, and quite honestly, pathetic. I will happily be that someone to enlighten you. Ironically, the classy, well muscled men all have shirts on in their pictures. THEY know a thing or two about how to flaunt their physical prowess without overdoing it. They also apparently know that TOO much too soon is a turn off. And I really don't want to click on a profile picture and find out you have back or shoulder hair before I even read your interests. PULEASE! Most women are willing to overlook imperfections to get to that nice guy underneath, but we need to get to know a person first. To see your handsome smile, to read about what makes you tick. Yes, that is what turns a woman on.. Heck, you might be the nicest guy in the world, but all that gray chest hair shouts bad taste, egotistical, into yourself big time, shallow ,and mostly, IS HE SERIOUS??? What was he thinking! EWWW!
Women are not typically as physically picky as men. We like a man's intellect. We like a gentleman We like respect and kindness and good sense of humor. Most women don't care if a guy has hair or not or has a bit of excess weight. But we do resent in your face bad taste!!!!!!!!! .
So come on fellas....help us all out and PUT YOUR SHIRTS BACK ON...PLEASE!!!!!!!
By L.J. Kluchin
Getting divorced and turning middle aged seems to be an epidemic and for me it has been a true learning experience, changing every aspect of my life. I've had to reshape and rethink everything that I previously held as valuable knowledge and readjust what I assumed was wisdom that my lengthy years on the planet have taught me. What I have discovered recently, is that in this wonderful new millennium, filled with indispensable technology I can't seem to live without, that romance has become an Internet nightmare! What on earth would my all time heroine, Elizabeth Bennett think of Internet Dating? I shudder to even imagine! Internet dating is an experience that defies logic, throws you into a world of cyberspace singles, and puts you in contact with the largest group of men, who for no apparent or explainable reason, pose without their shirts in their profile pictures. No, this is not some sci-fi horror movie called attack of the back hair, but an amazing cyberspace dating phenomena: MEN WITHOUT SHIRTS! And we are NOT talking Brad Pitt or Hugh Jackman hunks. I am strictly addressing those over 50 creatures who think that posting half naked photographs of their sagging hairy bodies is the stuff of which dreams are made! EWWW!
Being in the over 50 crowd of recently divorced, intelligent, accomplished and attractive women out there, I am at a loss for words trying to explain or understand why 90% of men over 50 on dating sights feel the need to take a profile picture exposing their upper half devoid of clothing. Now the really interesting concept here is that women in the same age bracket do not in large numbers go around taking bikini shots of themselves or exposing more than necessary to gain a man's interest. ( Even those of us with buns of steel or those of us who have paid to have buns of steel). We'd rather wow you with metaphors and accolades of our values and life experiences.... Perhaps share our favorite books with you, talk about the type of music and environment that we find romantic .... But for some unfathomable reason, countless men think women want to see a middle aged man unclothed and even stranger is that they then expect that all women will be sufficiently enticed or desperate enough to respond back to a half nude man.
First clue guys, is that if you are in that age bracket, WE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU WITHOUT YOUR SHIRT. PUT IT BACK ON! If we like your profile and think you sound intelligent, kind, sensitive and have similar interests, we will most likely respond to you. If your photos shows someone of reasonable attractiveness then we might want to chat with you or perhaps meet you after some appropriate correspondence. But NO ONE wants to see this pathetic display of ego and bad taste. If you are proud of your physique because you are an active person then a T shirt will show off your muscles and is so much more tasteful. The operative word HERE is CLASS fellas! Come on guys, face facts, most men, like women in their 50's, may look pretty good for their age, but HELLO!!!!! We're still aging and up close photos of sagging skin or extra love handles, and hair growing in places it doesn't belong, does NOT make for a good first impression. I get shocked each time I click on a name that has emailed me a pleasant hello only to find a man in some form of undress. You can bet I will never respond to Mr. Nudity! Is he kidding??
HINT: Buddy, your smile will look just as nice with a shirt on. Someone needs to let you know that you look like a real jerk! A potential pervert, and quite honestly, pathetic. I will happily be that someone to enlighten you. Ironically, the classy, well muscled men all have shirts on in their pictures. THEY know a thing or two about how to flaunt their physical prowess without overdoing it. They also apparently know that TOO much too soon is a turn off. And I really don't want to click on a profile picture and find out you have back or shoulder hair before I even read your interests. PULEASE! Most women are willing to overlook imperfections to get to that nice guy underneath, but we need to get to know a person first. To see your handsome smile, to read about what makes you tick. Yes, that is what turns a woman on.. Heck, you might be the nicest guy in the world, but all that gray chest hair shouts bad taste, egotistical, into yourself big time, shallow ,and mostly, IS HE SERIOUS??? What was he thinking! EWWW!
Women are not typically as physically picky as men. We like a man's intellect. We like a gentleman We like respect and kindness and good sense of humor. Most women don't care if a guy has hair or not or has a bit of excess weight. But we do resent in your face bad taste!!!!!!!!! .
So come on fellas....help us all out and PUT YOUR SHIRTS BACK ON...PLEASE!!!!!!!
GETTING TO KNOW ME... ANOTHER WOMAN WITH A VOICE!
Hello! I'm Lolly and this is my first blog entry.
I have decided that these days, there are just too many unfair situations happening to my generation of women. Life seems to keep throwing us excrement and we over 50 femme fa tales keep ducking to get out of the way! And, as that proverbial unwanted garbage is hurled full force at us by our ex husbands, bosses, children, and now by a younger version of women in society who have conveniently forgotten that we were the generation who fought for the very freedom and rights that they currently enjoy, we are thanked with a lack of respect, an attitude of arrogance, and a desire to see us cease to exist. And that is NOT about to happen any time soon!
Fear not ladies! We may have passed the half century mark, but that growth in years did not age or deter our drive, our integrity, our visions of the future, or our ability to be productive in society. We are thinkers and we are fighters. And best of all, we have the uncanny ability to keep standing back up and swinging punches, not unlike that broken down fighter in the ring who suddenly gets his second wind and knocks his opponent out when he least expects it. No matter who or what knocks us down, we continue to get up. We persevere.
I know this because of the inner strength that I have discovered deep within me after my recent divorce. Turning 60, going through a divorce, empty nest syndrome, the death of my father, all within a year, has allowed me to grow as an individual and learn not only how to value myself, but how strong women in general are. I have decided that I not only need to get a heck of a lot of issues off my chest, but in the process may be able to help other divorced 50 plus women out there deal with their lives in a positive manner too. Using our humor, drawing from our educational backgrounds, and our life experiences, we can together cope with the challenges we face each and every day. Women are a force to be reckoned with. Women over 50 have the wisdom and experience to know just how to do it right.
This blog will be my sounding board. Hopefully my thoughts will enrich, enlighten, entertain, and educate you while blasting those things that bug the heck out of me. Please Join me and respond. xoxo Lolly
I have decided that these days, there are just too many unfair situations happening to my generation of women. Life seems to keep throwing us excrement and we over 50 femme fa tales keep ducking to get out of the way! And, as that proverbial unwanted garbage is hurled full force at us by our ex husbands, bosses, children, and now by a younger version of women in society who have conveniently forgotten that we were the generation who fought for the very freedom and rights that they currently enjoy, we are thanked with a lack of respect, an attitude of arrogance, and a desire to see us cease to exist. And that is NOT about to happen any time soon!
Fear not ladies! We may have passed the half century mark, but that growth in years did not age or deter our drive, our integrity, our visions of the future, or our ability to be productive in society. We are thinkers and we are fighters. And best of all, we have the uncanny ability to keep standing back up and swinging punches, not unlike that broken down fighter in the ring who suddenly gets his second wind and knocks his opponent out when he least expects it. No matter who or what knocks us down, we continue to get up. We persevere.
I know this because of the inner strength that I have discovered deep within me after my recent divorce. Turning 60, going through a divorce, empty nest syndrome, the death of my father, all within a year, has allowed me to grow as an individual and learn not only how to value myself, but how strong women in general are. I have decided that I not only need to get a heck of a lot of issues off my chest, but in the process may be able to help other divorced 50 plus women out there deal with their lives in a positive manner too. Using our humor, drawing from our educational backgrounds, and our life experiences, we can together cope with the challenges we face each and every day. Women are a force to be reckoned with. Women over 50 have the wisdom and experience to know just how to do it right.
This blog will be my sounding board. Hopefully my thoughts will enrich, enlighten, entertain, and educate you while blasting those things that bug the heck out of me. Please Join me and respond. xoxo Lolly
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